If you just found out you are pregnant and you did not plan it and you really do not want a child, one of the first things you will think of is an abortion. It’s your body, your life and you have an absolute right to go ahead and get an abortion if that is what you wish. But there are women who hesitate before getting an abortion and want to at least think of some abortion alternatives.
Reasons For Looking Into abortion Alternatives
Now you might think, why would anyone want to look into abortion alternatives? You either want to have the baby or you don’t. So what’s the big deal? But it’s not always as simple as all that. Deciding to get an abortion is a personal choice with hundreds of variables factoring into it from finance and marital status to social conditioning and individual preference. It is not an easy choice to make for any woman, even if the pregnancy is an unplanned one and will hamper her life. There are several reasons that women might want to consider abortion alternatives.
Religious Sentiments
Some religions do not approve of abortion because they believe the embryo has a soul right from the time of conception. It can be difficult to counter the belief systems that we grew up with. So looking into abortions alternatives is expected.
Ethical Dilemma
When does an embryo have life? At what point does it become a person? These questions may be used by anti-abortion groups to guilt women into looking at abortion alternatives – which is wrong and manipulative – but the fact remains that they are very pertinent questions. If you sit and mull over them long enough – which you are likely to do in your hormonal-induced state of pregnancy – you really start to wonder about the answers. If you begin to think that the foetus is alive in the first few weeks, you may think it is murder to have an abortion. This is something that women sometimes deal with even years after they have their abortions. Many women can go ahead and have an abortion despite the questions. But perhaps you are plagued by these questions as well and discover that you cannot go ahead with it. It’s OK. You are human and it is normal to feel this way. You can always consider the abortion alternatives before making your final decision.
Peer Pressure
You can avoid anti-abortion groups all you want. But maybe there are people around you who you interact with daily who have a hard time coming to terms with your decision. Having an abortion is nobody’s business but your own. However, it can also be tough dealing with peer pressure. It is not uncommon for women seeking abortions to change their minds and look for abortion alternatives after talking to their families or friends.
Legal Issues
In some countries, abortion is illegal no matter what the reason for the abortion. Then there are places like the United States where abortion is a matter of the state. So while the country may have a certain take on abortion depending on who’s in office, the states themselves are left free to create their own abortion laws. This can be quite a hindrance for women who just want to flat out get an abortion without considering abortion alternatives. The women who get pregnant in such countries or states have a few choices –
- They can go out of the country or state to get the abortion. But this may not be economically viable since there will be travel, food and accommodation expenses to consider. Or maybe it is not possible to take that much time off work or school. Perhaps she does not have a passport to leave the country and getting one would take too long, by which time the pregnancy would have progressed too far to have a safe abortion. So she has no choice but to consider abortion alternatives.
- There are a few pro-choice (just another name for pro-abortion) organizations – usually non-profit – that will send abortion pills by mail with detailed instructions on how to take them and what complications to look out for. But what if the pregnancy is beyond 6 or 7 weeks? The abortion pill will not be effective in successfully terminating the abortion then. It will just be a waste of money and time, and can cause frustration and great anxiety.
- Where there are laws, there are people more than willing to break them. For a price. And in this case the price can be your health. Even countries that are against abortion have little clinics which will perform abortions discreetly. But because they are hiding from the law and are afraid of running into trouble, these can be very hard to find. Even if you do find them, they may not be very hygienic or up to the mark. Some places can be bad enough to give you an infection just from sitting in the waiting room. The doctor may not be qualified enough. Or it may be someone with a little medical background who is looking to make extra money. You can never be sure. Even if the staff there tell you they are qualified, it’s not like you can verify it. If you do go ahead and get an abortion done there anyway and end up with complications afterward because of a fault at their end, you cannot even sue or go to the police with a complaint because you were a part of a “crime”. It is heartbreaking and unfair, but there is no choice at such a time except to look at abortion alternatives.
- The third and most reasonable conclusion – after all the above have been considered and ticked off the list – is to seriously think about abortion alternatives.
Abortion Alternatives – Giving the Baby Up For Adoption
The best of abortion alternatives is to have the baby and give it up for adoption. This is what most women who do not want their babies will do.
Pros
– If you find a couple that wants your baby, you can get all your pregnancy costs including medical bills and hospital stay covered by them. This may seem a little cold and calculating, but let’s face it – health-care is expensive, and having to pay for it for nine months of a pregnancy that you never wanted in the first place can really mess with your head.
– In case of teen pregnancies, this is truly the best of abortion alternatives. A teenager is after all still a child herself and she should not have to be saddled with the responsibility of brining up the baby and sacrificing her youth and education.
– You’ll be making some couple really, really happy. There are many couples out there who are unable to get pregnant and who have tried fertility treatments in vain. Their wish to start a family can come true because of you.
Cons
– If you have not found a family that will take in your baby, you will still have to pay for the cost of your pregnancy.
– Then you know that your baby will just be left in some adoption agency and you may feel guilty for abandoning it.
– You may not want the baby but you want it to be in good hands. You will always wonder whether the baby ended up in a good home and whether it is being treated well. Some women who give up their babies for adoption will sometimes go looking for them years later because of this. One option here is to have an open adoption i.e. the family that adopts your baby sends you updates and photos, and perhaps visits can be arranged if the family is open enough.
– The point with abortion alternatives is that you want to find a way around the abortion and not be stuck with the baby. But it has happened on several occasions that the mother does not want to give up the baby for adoption once it is born and she has held it in her hands. Maternal instincts kick in and it is near impossible to fight that. This may not be the best choice if economic or social conditions do not permit the mother to keep the baby. And not being able to keep the baby after this can cause several emotional issues that can last a lifetime.
Abortion Alternatives – Keeping The Baby
Another of the abortion alternatives is a much tougher decision to make because it involves changing your mind about the baby and keeping it despite your initial feelings about the pregnancy. But this abortion alternative only works if you have a strong support system in the form of family and friends.
Pros
– You get to welcome a baby in your life and experience motherhood and unconditional love.
– You may find that the baby makes you feel fulfilled, and you may feel very grateful that you chose one of the abortion alternatives instead of terminating the pregnancy.
– A new member in the family can make your own family more close-knit as everyone comes together to help with the baby. Relationships are strengthened and deep bonds develop out of shared responsibilities.
Cons
– After having the baby, you may find that you are really not up to the task. You may resent the baby for robbing you of your independence or your carefree life. Fueled by postpartum depression, this can be a very challenging mindset to break. Babies are adept at picking up their mothers’ moods and it can affect their own development.
– If you are not financially well off, a baby can make things much worse. You may have to pick up a second job to make ends meet, which is not easy to do when you have a baby around.
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